Suddenly I see you
by RustedDreams
Summary: when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. 5x01 reaction fic. Kurt and Blaine's first conversation after getting engaged.


'Do you remember that time you told me you weren't very good at romance?'

'You may have taught me a thing or two.' Blaine laughs, free and uninhibited, because Kurt's here and he's smiling at Blaine in that wry, mocking, affectionate way he used to do all the time. 'You may have taught me everything actually.' Blaine scrunches his nose, smiling delightedly up at Kurt from where he sits on the steps.

The two of them are sat in the Dalton gardens; they're curled close into each other's bodies, basking in the fading summer sunlight. Neither of them could bear to part. Soon Kurt would be back in New York and Blaine would be back at school and they wouldn't get to spend much time together, then again Kurt thinks he could spend his whole life with Blaine and they'd never have enough time together. It's only as he looks down at the ring, glinting and shining in the sunlight, that he realises there's no could about it, he _is _going to spend his whole life with Blaine.

'I don't know, you did pretty well all by yourself. That was _the _most extravagant thing I've ever seen. Even my ten year old self couldn't have come up with anything that over the top.'

'Did you love it?'

'I loved it.' Kurt grins and brushes against Blaine, knocking their shoulders together playfully before leaning into the touch and settling there, nestled against the crook of Blaine's arm.

'Well I'm just glad no one let it slip, you're almost impossible to surprise.'

'Not this time,' Kurt singsongs. He's lying, but honestly he doesn't want Blaine to know that he knew. His fiancé (fiancé!) is so proud of himself right now, and the fact that Kurt knew it was coming doesn't change how shocked or enamoured he was by the whole thing; it doesn't change the fact that he still desperately wants to marry Blaine. But it also doesn't change the fact that only half an hour ago he hadn't wanted to be proposed to at all.

Blaine looks at him giddily, his smile wide and toothy and his eyes crinkled against the sun. He watches Kurt for a few seconds, trying to comprehend the fact that this is the face he is going to be waking up to for the rest of his life, and then he leans back, brow furrowing, and smile faltering.

'You knew didn't you?'

'No- No, of course not!' Kurt lies quickly. Blaine looks so disappointed at the thought that Kurt had known beforehand, Kurt doesn't want to upset him, and more importantly he doesn't want to discuss this.

'Oh My God you knew!' And Blaine's staring at him incredulously. The disbelief in his voice makes it sound about an octave higher than it naturally is. He's just staring a Kurt with a shocked expression on his face.

'Okay so I knew a little.'

'I can't believe you knew.' Blaine shakes his head, but he's smiling now, laughing because that is just _so _Kurt, his Kurt, the Kurt he gets to spend the rest of his life with, and of course that Kurt would figure it out.

'Well I knew you were going to propose, I didn't know there was going to be…_that.' _Kurt makes a vague gesture behind them at the Dalton building and Blaine smiles proudly.

'I honestly didn't think you knew, I mean you didn't seem very…' Blaine pauses to choose his words carefully '…_pleased_ when I walked through those doors.'

It's the grimace that gives him away, and honestly Kurt should learn to control his facial expressions better because as soon as Blaine notices, his face falls and it just about breaks Kurt's heart. God he really doesn't want to do this, they were happy they were _good_; he is so excited about being engaged to Blaine, he doesn't want to go and ruin it now only a few minutes in.

'Kurt?' Blaine draws the word out, and somehow, even when it sounds apprehensive and confused, hearing his name from Blaine's lips still sends a shiver down Kurt's spine. Blaine has never quite said his name the same way as everyone else. It's always sounded a little more significant, laced with something ineffable and intoxicating, whenever Blaine has said it.

'If I'm being honest with you-' Kurt forces himself to meet Blaine's eyes, to be honest here, even if he doesn't want to. 'I knew you were going to propose… but I didn't really want you to go through with it.' Blaine's reaction is almost immediate, and it's certainly endearing to see him, not angry or hurt, but worried for Kurt's own happiness as he jumps back, away from Kurt, and starts speaking frantically.

'Wait what? Kurt if you don't want to marry me you don't-'

'Woah woah woah, honey, I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to marry you. ' Kurt smiles, chasing after Blaine where he's shuffled a little further back on the steps and taking a hold of Blaine's shoulders in his hands. 'Let me explain. I love you very much, and I want to marry you, I have always wanted to marry you, I'm just saying that at the time, I wasn't planning on saying yes.'

'Yes but if that whole song and dance changed your mind then you shouldn't agree because tomorrow it will all wear off and you'll have made a terrible mistake and -'

'Blaine, I _love_ you, and I _want_ to marry you, now please just let me explain.' Kurt pauses to peck Blaine quickly on the lips, hoping that it reassures him at least a little bit. Blaine looks up at him, eyes wide and watery. He looks young Kurt thinks, and earlier this morning that would have been a bad thing, but now all he can think about is how he'll get to see Blaine age and mature; he'll get to watch laughter lines and scars and wrinkles grow all over his skin, and he'll know exactly why they're there, he'll have put some of them there, and Kurt can't wait to see it all. He revels in how young Blaine is now, and how much of his own life will be spent with this man.

'Okay.' Blaine smiles, although he still looks sad and a little confused and _god _Kurt wishes he was a better liar, but he's smiling, so that's something.

'I love you okay? You know that, I know that, the entire state of Ohio knows that. And there is no doubt in my mind, there hasn't been any doubt in my mind for the past few years that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew that this morning too, but I still wasn't sure that getting engaged right now was a good idea.'

'So what changed your mind?'

'It was that thing you said, about all those different lifetimes and remembering each other instead of getting to know each other, because I can't explain it but that first time I met you, on the staircase just in there.' Kurt stops to once again point at the Dalton building and to share a nostalgic smile with Blaine before continuing.

'It felt like I knew you, like I was finally where I needed to be, like I was coming home. And I've always felt like I've known you my whole life, like I've loved you so much more than is capable in one lifetime, being with you is like… it's like I've found my place in the universe.

'I've always felt like this, and I've known that I've loved you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that we are going to get married and have beautiful talented children and a holiday home in London and two fluffy bichon frisé dogs , but up until just a few minutes ago I thought that was something for the future, like there was some kind of age limit that I hadn't quite reached yet, but talking to you and talking to my dad, I realised, why wait?

'For me that future, with you, has always been inevitable. There was no doubt in my mind that it would happen, and if I am so sure of that, if that's what I want more than anything else in this life, then I don't want to wait. I don't want to sit around until society deems me old enough or I become financially stable enough or any of that stuff that was holding me back, because nothing is ever going to align itself perfectly, and I want to start my life with you now.

'I'm not saying we run away and get married tomorrow, I'm just saying that this is what I want, and I'm not going to wait to get it. I love you so much Blaine Anderson, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. This morning I thought that we were young and foolish and desperately in love, but if that means that I can't get engaged, then I don't think we'll ever get down the aisle, because I always want to be those things with you, and I want to make as much of the time we have together as possible. It's like you say, there's probably some universe out there where one of us is married and we can't be together, or I don't know you're a teacher and I'm your student or we don't meet until we're 75 years old. Our souls are probably out there, in some strange incarnation of ourselves wishing for more time, wishing we'd known each other longer, wishing we _could _get married. And we have all of that, right here, so why should we let it go to waste?'

Blaine doesn't say anything for a very long time. He regards Kurt with a funny look, a bubbling mix of joy and pride and relief, like all the emotions are too much, as if they're spilling out and overflowing from his very being. Kurt can feel it in the air, like all these emotions are some tangible thing, something he can grab and hold close to his chest. But they're not, not quite, so he grabs the next best thing, latching onto the lapels of Blaine's suit and pulling his fiancé into his arms, clinging to Blaine like they've only just found each other, and he doesn't ever want to let go.

'I love you Kurt Hummel.'

'I love you too, so much.'

'But I just have to check. You're _sure_ it's not just because I sang to you in front of four show choirs, all of your friends, an entire school populace, _and_your dad, that you're saying yes?'

'Blaine darling, you may be talented but believe it or not there are reasons other than your singing that led to me saying yes.'

'Oh yeah?' Blaine's teasing now, all worry or doubt gone, and they're back, they're _them_, they're KurtandBlaine and they are in love, they are engaged and they are going to live happily ever after.

'I said yes because I love you, hopelessly and wholeheartedly, and because I _do_ want to marry you. And also Central Park has at least a two year waiting list for weddings so we need to start planning soon.' Blaine laughs and shakes his head. Kurt is ridiculous, but he's his Kurt, and he's ridiculous because he knows it makes Blaine smile, and they can do this together, be themselves and they can laugh and joke and make each other feel better.

'So you're sure?'

'I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't. And we managed to unite four rival show choirs with our love alone, I mean come on, we can't let something like that go to waste.'

'Was it too much?' Blaine rests his head on Kurt's shoulder. It's like with every passing second he just wants to get closer to the love of his life, to feel Kurt's warmth, and his solid, living body beneath his own, to make sure that Kurt's real and Kurt's here and Kurt's everything he's ever wanted in life. Kurt rests his head atop Blaine's, the smell of that familiar and comforting raspberry hair gel filling the air around him, he wraps one arm around Blaine's shoulder and closes his eyes contentedly before continuing the conversation.

'It was _way_ too much. And I loved every second of it.'

'I love every second I spend with you.'

'You dork.' Kurt laughs, and then he follows it up with a quick 'So do I.'

Silence winds its way around them, curling into the crooks where their bodies aren't touching and hanging in the spaces between them, all the promises and "I love yous" reverberating in the space where the words go unsaid.

Kurt is suddenly reminded of a memory, an offhand comment that feels as if it was spoken a lifetime ago.

'I know why I said yes.'

'Oh?' Blaine stretches his head up lazily, but his eyes are still shut tight in contentment and he doesn't move far from where he's resting on Kurt's shoulder.

'Because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.'

Blaine laughs, turning his face into the crook of Kurt's neck and chuckling into the soft skin that lies there. He brings his arms up to wrap around Kurt's torso, engulfing him in a full body hug and squeezing tight simply because he knows he doesn't have to let go.

'I guess we did get together in the end after all.' He whispers into Kurt's skin.


End file.
